He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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