My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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