Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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