I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
