I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
that may or may not have been my penis.
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