dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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