the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Randomize
