That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
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