Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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