I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
