Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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