He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
