Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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