I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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