If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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