so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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