i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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