what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
