in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize