some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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