another moral hangover. fuck.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
