Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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