hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
