genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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