Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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