U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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