where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
