just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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