you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
