I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
