All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize