I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize