There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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