Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
