when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
