I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
