My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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