My girlfriend figured out who you are.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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