do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
