last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
