Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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