your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
