There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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