I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
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