on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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