she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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