Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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