I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
