dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
