Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
