I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize