other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
