Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
