she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
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she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
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She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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