She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
