Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Randomize
