Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize