have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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