I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
