And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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