dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
what day is it and did you see me today?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm like, not good at living.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
