If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
