i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
