I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
