i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
