Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize
